Allergies

First off, let me say that my main irritant is springtime plants - whatever they may be - that cause allergies. It has been probably two months now with constant problems and little relief. I've tried various medications and various combinations of those medications and only end up with a life that is usually tolerable but not so great. Second, let me say that I realize that in the grand scheme of things, allergies, however severe, pale in comparison to other problems and even other physical ailments. However, that being said, allow me to to continue with my complaining in my otherwise fairly good bubble.
My biggest pet peeve (what does that mean anyway?) as of late is the question, "Is that allergies or a cold?" This question comes along anytime I sniff, sneeze, or blow my nose in public. A worse question, that I also occasionally hear, is, "Is that a cold or a sinus?" A sinus?! It's ALL "a sinus"! That's as bad as calling someone "mental." I assume they mean a sinus infection. Although that's giving them the benefit of the doubt. Moving on... Why do they need to know? Are they just making conversation? Or are they concerned that I'm infecting everyone in my path with a cold? I hardly think it should matter to them unless they have some kind of immunodeficiency problem. And another thing: isn't this allergy season? Why should someone blowing her nose be a cause for alarm... or even comment? Can't I just be miserable in peace?

Reflections on a "family"

I am starting to realize something about myself, so I'm going to try to hash it out... here... in public (somewhat). I have participated in several short-term (some longer than others) activities where, at the end of it, the participants have become very close. I, on the other hand, sit back and watch this happen as an outsider. In some cases I think, "This is ridiculous; they've just met and they act like they're leaving their best friends." But sometimes I think, "We really have been through a lot together and we should be closer than I feel." One of two things is happening: either there are a lot of shallow people out there who don't know what a deep relationship is like, or I do not allow myself to get close to people quickly. I fear it is the latter.

I think I used to feel really deeply for people I barely knew, but it never seemed like they cared much about me. In actuality, they probably never knew how I felt because I'm afraid to put my feelings on the line. I also know that I often don't take the time, energy, and emotion to "invest" in relationships. I've always been more of a one-or-two-deep-friendships kind of person rather than the several-not-so-deep-friendships kind. So, is that it? Am I just satisfied with my one-or-two friendships and don't think I need any more? If so, I would say I'm just secure and don't need to depend on sporadic relationships. But, I think I would be justifying a flaw. Instead, I believe I am keeping myself from meaningful relationships- no matter how brief they may be in the end. I don't know what to do about this, but I wish I didn't distance myself like that.

I just came to check to see if this blog still exists! So, now that I'm here, I feel the need to post something. I have nothing of any importance to say, but just wanted to make my presence known. I have probably been less reflective lately, without an outlet (journal, blog, etc) in which to "hash things out." This is a waste of an over-analytical brain and must stop. I will begin thinking of new things to complain about... um... I mean... discuss.