I never intended to be a helicopter parent. Ok, I doubt anyone ever intends to be - I just didn't think that would ever be me. But as Judah is just days away from starting Kindergarten, I think I hear the whirring sound of the blades starting to whip.
I've always tried to teach him to do things for himself. I've often observed from a distance while letting him figure things out on his own. But that's the thing... I have always been able to observe. I thought I had already let him go, to a certain extent. He's been in preschool since he was three months old. A couple of days before I went back to work, I was curled up in Steven's lap crying a river and telling him I didn't think I could do it. I did, and it didn't take long for me to realize that we had the best of both worlds. I was able to work, and he was able to attend a fantastic preschool with so many wonderful ladies who taught, nurtured, and loved him. Two years later, Kirk started the same journey, and just last week, Annaleah joined them. So, this shouldn't be a big deal, right? WRONG. I'm a mess.
He has always been just down the hall from me. I know his teachers well and can ask any question at any time. He has even been my music student for most of his life. I know what happens in the classroom; I can look out on the playground as I pass by; I know all of his friends and their parents. How can I suddenly not know what he's doing all day?
Will his teacher know how innocent he is?...how he knows very little about the world but so much about God that he astounds his parents?...and that he thinks everyone is loving and kind? Will she know that all bugs are "God's creatures" and that he won't want to throw away a piece of paper because he gets attached to everything? Will she know that he gets overwhelmed by tasks that seem too big? Will she see the wheels turning behind his eyes as he analyzes and deeply mulls over what she is teaching? Will she be able to tell that he misses his friends he has known since birth and that he has cried over missing his 4K teacher? Does she know how long we waited for him?...how we thought we might never have him? Would she care to know that I cried when he was four-days-old because it was the only time he would ever be four-days-old and I just wanted to freeze time? Obviously, I didn't manage to do that... because here we are, a few days later, at Kindergarten. So, forgive me, teacher, principal, cafeteria lady, etc., if I seem to be hovering. I'm trying really hard to let him grow and learn on his own. But that's my baby you have there.
