Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Men who hit, and the women who love them

This day is dragging on so I thought I would get on here and ramble. Here is what plagues my thoughts today: Domestic Violence: Men who abuse, and, more importantly, women who let them.
It is a good thing that I don't work directly with this area of crime, but I still run across things that boggle my mind. When a man is arrested for Criminal Domestic Violence year after year, month after month, and the victim is the same woman, I just cringe. I have long wondered about the "battered wife syndrome," a term that I can't remember if I heard or made up. What is it that makes a woman stay with a man who mistreats her? This takes all forms: emotional abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse, cheating, etc. And though it is all wrong, I suppose the lines of anything other than physical abuse are more gray. But when someone hits another person, it's fairly obvious to that person that something very definitive and wrong has just occurred. Why would that victim stay with the person? I know that the victims are extremely insecure. I know that the abusers turn on the charm and try to make the victims feel better or twist the events to make it seem like the victim deserved it. I know these things. But in my heart, I grieve for these women who are so desperate to be loved, that they find a cheap imitation and settle for their own destruction. I wish that every woman knew her worth in God's eyes. I wish that every little girl would know a man's pure love so she didn't grow up searching in all of the wrong places for what she lacks. As always, I wish I could help.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's really no surprise to me. I was just hit by my husband about an hour ago. He even told me he wanted me dead. I left the house (per his request i leave immediately or he would pumel me) and he called my cell a dozen times to tell me I had to fullfill my motherly duties and come home. I got home and my kids were in their rooms traumatized with seeing daddy hit and try to strangle mommy. We are Christians and it is not right for us to divorce. Plus, I do not want my kids to grow up without daddy, like I did. I had too many daddies, one of which physically and sexually abused me and my sibling for years (a step-father). I just pray to God every time this happens that he will bring my husband back home to us and to Him. That is all I can do.

Kelli said...

In case my anonymous poster returns, I leave this message.
I understand not wanting your kids to grow up without a dad. But do you want them to grow up without a mom? He could kill you. It happens every day to people who say it couldn't happen to them. Even if he doesn't kill you, the abuse is killing enough of your self to where your kids don't really have a mom... or a dad...just people they live with that teach them by their action or lack thereof that to physically and emotionally abuse someone is ok. Divorce is wrong, but safety is important. Maybe you just separate. Or maybe you get divorced because afterall, he has been unfaithful to you and to God. I will pray for you.

Anonymous said...

thank you for your prayers.

Anonymous said...

I Android back. My husband never killed me. In fact he hasn't. Hit me in a few years. He is dollowinf God And is putting God first in everything. He admitted to me that he had a crush on a girl that started flirting with him And he got caught up in her attention she was showing him. She was gorgeous And even says she is saved. He started to hate me because if his sin. He regrets falling for her and after he asked her out on a date she said yes but later said she chgd her mind. He then started ignoring her Android realized his sin. I cried a lot Android I still think about it. I feel I will never be as pretty as her. I have had three kids so am heavier than I usedd to be. I have brown spots on my face from sun damage Android I know I And not the best wife or mom. But he loves me now and Gid is blessing our family. He no longer hits and even compliments me and avoids arguments in front of the kids. Thank you for your prayers!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the typos. My phone makes the word and into Android a lot. Also meant God not gid.