The Cat Is Out...

So, here's the thing... we've had a secret.  And even though the cat is out of the bag now, we're not making any Facebook announcements because, well, Steven doesn't want to :)  He figures that the people who need to know are the people we see or talk to on a regular basis and, therefore, we will tell them in person and they will know.  Granted, Facebook has gotten way out of hand and we have too many "friends" on there.  As a side note - we have really cheapened that word.  Moving on...  Steven has always been more secretive than I.  I want to honor his request, but I like to work through things by talking or writing about them.  The solution is that I will write about things on this blog and can refer people here if they want to know more, but I will not direct people here by way of Facebook.  And now on to the news...

We have completed the paperwork and interview part of the process to become adoptive parents!  It is exciting and frightening all at the same time.  We are now in the waiting phase.  It's hard to answer a lot of questions when you're going through the first part of the process, so we didn't tell a lot of people.  Now it is out of our hands and questions aren't so bad.  Here are some of the basic, frequently asked ones to get out of the way:  1. What age?  We are looking at birth to five years.  2. Who are you using?  DSS (social services) - it is essentially free and we feel good about their objectives and means.  3. What now?  Whereas most agencies are looking for children for their families, DSS is looking for families for their children.  Our information will soon be in a database accessible to all the agents in SC (and maybe a couple of surrounding states) who will be looking for families in which to place children who need a permanent home.  We will then get a phone call, hear about a child they think is a good match for us, and make a prayerful decision about whether or not we agree.  I am over-simplifying the process, but that's it, in a nutshell. 

Here are the answers to the question nobody wants to ask but wants to know:
Why?  We have been considering adoption since before we were married.  Steven has always had a soft spot in his heart for adoption because his grandmother was adopted (by a relative) and his parents were foster parents, for a time.  I have always felt a strange "calling," of sorts, to adopt.  When Steven and I were considering marriage, I asked him how he felt about adoption because I felt like it was going to be in our future and I needed to know he was okay with it.  He was more than okay :)  We thought we would have our own biological children first and then adopt a few more (Steven's numbers were '4' and '2'.  I did not have particular numbers in mind).  Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."  And in Proverbs 16:9, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  As is often the case, we thought we knew our course, but God is ordering our steps in a different way.  I think, in a way, even though not being able to conceive is a painful and unexpected journey, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I always thought this might be God's path for us.  Maybe I'll write more about that side of things another time.  For now, suffice it to say, it seems we are adopting first and maybe adopting only. 

A few weeks ago I had the idea that I could write blog entries about this, including the date they were written, and not post them until we were ready for people to know.  I wish I had this idea much sooner.  This process has been... well, just that: a process!  From deciding it might be time to look into it, to wondering which avenue to pursue, to choosing a path, to all the thoughts and emotions that come along the way, it's been a wild ride.  It's far from over, but I just can't go back and recapture all that I've missed.  I didn't even journal about it much.  Fail.  I'm already failing as a parent!  I'm kidding... sort of.   In the next few days or weeks, I will post the couple of things that I did manage to write recently.  Anyway, please pray for us as we wait.  Pray for the DSS agents who are trying to find homes for children.  Pray for God's will to be done on all sides.  Thanks for caring enough to read this.